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Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Managing Money Issues After Marriage Life

Flirting over money issues can ruin a potential marriage life. 

There are many couples that have conflicting money values that there can often be arguments seen on how a household should save and spend money. The common belief that men should handle all the financial planning while the women handle the day to day chores are over in this century. In today's society, it is critical that the financial planning is discussed between both parties, which is why it is all the more important that they are dealt with tender care because it is about two person - two pair of hands.

This can be tricky though because not everyone is savvy in financial planning in the first place, especially if one is stronger than the other in this aspect. Take my case for instance, I am accounting and finance trained and I am more comfortable dealing with financial planning than my wife. This though, as I will share later about my story, does not stop me from making all the decisions myself, though for the most part she entrusted me with the decision I make.




When we got married and started to live under one roof, we started defining on the values of what we believe in and this includes the talk about money and financial independence in general. In order to achieve our goals, we both agree on our respective roles on how to handle saving and spending patterns in an appropriate manner. There are a few general rule of thumbs that we follow. For instance, we ration our expenses appropriately and any big item expenses that go above $1,000 would need both our approvals before it can go through. We also aim for a minimum saving target of 50% each month and if we bust that over, we would think of ways to make it up in the following months. Maybe no travel, or less dining for instance.

Next, there are the issues of whether a joint savings account is required for marriage couple. Personally speaking, they are good to have because it advocates an equal share of responsibility towards any money that goes in or out of the account. For us, we don't use that much because most of the household contribution comes directly from me as my wife has decided to step down to become a stay home mommy so the joint accounts are becoming irrelevant for our case.

Our income disparity for day to day activities isn’t an issue because we had our understanding agreed right from the beginning. Neither of us are a big spender and we live pretty much on decent maintenance most of the time, though there are occasion where we would splurge on things like food and travel. I was also allowed complete access and decisions on how I should invest my money because again there are things which we have already agreed upon right from the start.

At the end, if you look at it, it is all about communication, communication and communication. Be open about these things right from the start so there are fewer frictions and misunderstanding about how things will pan out later.

What about you? How did you manage monetary issues with your spouse?


9 comments:

  1. Hi FFF,

    Would just like to share how in our case, my wife and I are better together than alone.

    My wife is a superb saver and a very disciplined and industrious person and I am the one who is more imaginative, spontaneous, actually more of a daydreamer. Thus I enjoy reading up and increase in knowledge and understanding.

    My better half spends very little on herself. There were times when I had to tell her that its okay to spend a bit more for quality.

    I myself ain't a spendthrift but somehow I know that my hands might get a bit itchy if I have a sizable sum in my bank.

    So this is how we manage our financial affairs. I load most of the expenditure including hers like insurance premiums onto me. I also pay for most of the meals. So my savings account is normally in the hundreds before payday. But hers will be growing. Then we will use the savings for investment when appropriate.

    This arrangement only works because it is underpinned by trust.

    So I alone will not be able to make it as I won't be disciplined enough to accumulate the savings. Possible but tough and will probably take a very long time. My better half will have her savings eaten away by inflation.

    And we do not use joint accounts. So my account is virtually in the low hundreds just before payday. Lol!

    Regards,
    FFE

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi FFE

      Thanks for sharing on your experience. Really appreciate it.

      You both seem to be very compatible with one another, knowing what each other's strengths and weaknesses and are willing to compromise for the better of the group.

      People say when we are married, its 1 + 1 = 2. Ideally, it should be 1 + 1 = 1. If we can achieve that, then we will have a successful marriage.

      Delete
  2. Hi B, do you have a share savings account with your spouse? If yes, which bank?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi SR

      I have a joint savings account with my wife but we don't use it often.

      Delete
  3. i am of the old traditional belief.

    Since we are united as ("one flesh") for better or for worse, why have separated accounts?
    She agrees.
    Fortunately for me my wife is not spendthrift and easily contented.
    She also not so interested in money matters (investing and finance).
    Everything we have, we have either or joint accounts as the law permits.
    Except her CPF still intact, mine has been joint accounted (withdraw from CPF Board).
    So in the end my money is her money but her money is still her money (CPF portion)

    Ha! Ha!
    So i am the clever one managing and investing all our money Lol!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I am the other extreme from temperament

    We have our own accounts for everything. Her money is her money, my money is my money.

    We discuss expenses to be foot be either parties (bulk of it by me) I dun question her purchases and she dun question my investments. None of us are spendthrifts by our own standards

    When we rent out our units, the rental goes to her account. I have no "access" over it unless she agree to it.

    I do it to give her a sense of security when our relationship was not as sound and strong. She can take the money and "walk out on me or vice versa"

    At the end of the day, it's not the management of money but trust... That arrangement must give a sense of security and build trust

    Everything also common accounts and divorced? I know of real life examples ....

    ReplyDelete
  5. To trust each other completely when comes to money is not so easy a thing to achieve or accomplish even between H & W.
    Further more it is how a person relate his/her emotions to money.
    The most important i think is how you look at marriage and your temperament.
    Are you willing to let her always have the best you can afford?
    Are you willing to give all; i mean without reservation?
    Even jolly well you know you may be the disadvantage party if there is a divorce.

    i think i am just a too "naively romantic person"
    Or too idealistic and naïve lol!

    My favorite :
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qd1qEEUhAck

    ReplyDelete
  6. I am going to this phase soon (in about 6 months time). I already have a joint account with my fiancee, whereby we promise to deposit $50 (each of us) every month. This will certainly be put aside to gain more interest. With sufficient money then we will park it in Fixed Deposit or even SSB for 10 full years.

    After marriage, most probably I will give all my income to my wife then get the allowance for myself (probably $30 per day) which will result in $900 per month. Then she will give the necessary amount to our parents. The rest she will help to save and allocate accordingly.

    So technically I am earning $900 per month excluding CPF. Is really all about trust. I do trust my wife. which is why I am okay to give her my income. Then slowly I try to save my $900 and put my extras saving in blue chips to earn extra dividends yearly.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Ha! Ha!
    You are even more "OLD FASHION" and more traditional then me.
    Mine i base on the BIBLE TEACHING, actually.
    In the West, couple before marriage even have pre-nuptial & financial agreement.
    Ha! Ha!
    Sound smart or stupid or weird or why like this one leh?
    i don't know!

    ReplyDelete

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