Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Should We Keep Our Early Retirement Dream A Secret?

Since I've started writing on this blog about more than 5 years ago, I remained convinced that my end goal towards financial freedom would be an early retirement from the corporate world. The goal has not really deviate that much from the start, though there are little changes here and there to keep up with times.

I haven't really bushed around about keeping my early retirement dream a secret. I think it's a realistic goal that I can and would want to achieve and I am striving as hard as anyone out there to make this seemingly "impossible" task possible. I am not particularly worried about letting people know where I stand financially and also in terms of my ideology on how I would prefer to live my life that can be improved than what it is now. It is not a poorly justified life I am living right now, it just can be better.
 
 

On the other hand, I don't have a duty to purposely tell people on my early FI achievement. Once in a while, I do receive a few emails from readers asking me on their directions and I try to help as much as possible. I will surely and do not provide the best advice but if I can somewhat influence their decision to pursue the same dream they have as mine, then I will consider that as pretty good.

For the more casual acquaintances like friends of friends, or colleagues, they don't really have to know why I am pursuing this seemingly ideal dream of mine. They also do not need to know how I run my household finances and if I were in their shoes, I probably won't be interested in theirs anyway. As far as whether I will eventually be successful in saying FU to my job, I wouldn't try to make it a big deal either. I think it's polite and respect to everyone that for an individual to eventually leave the corporate that they leave on a quieter terms and not make a big hoo-haa about the situation. If I decide to do so, I'd probably just write the incident on this blog to update my situation, but that's pretty much about it.

As much as I have been pretty open about my writing and some crazy ideology on the social media, my early FI dream remains relatively an anonymity to my families and relatives. First, I'm not in a hurry to talk about this crazy dream of mine to anyone who doesn't believe it could be done. For the uninitiated, early retirement and financial freedom feels kind of pretty weird stuff. Statistically, the government and media have encouraged people to continue working and portrayed the ideal retirement age to above 67 years old. So if I were to tell to my mom and pops that I am going to retire not working in 5 years time, they are probably going to get stunned for 5 seconds and then thinks that I am crazy. Even until today, my wife didn't quite believe if this is a viable option and she is worried that the family would eventually ran out of cashflow.
 
After acquaintances, friends, families, then come bloggers and readers next.
 
This is probably the closest group of people who are able to share the same sentiments as I am. Some of them have similar goals while others have a slightly different goal but have read on enough things to brainwash the social media impact it has on them previously. We are a hybrid of aspirees and weirdos but to put it into the right context, we are actually termed as financial bloggers. There are more joinees in recent years to this community, so I am taking that as a healthy sign.
 
So to recap, there isn't a particular purpose to hide this from anyone from any different branches or groups of people, whether it's acquaintances, families or bloggers but there will be those who will be your inspirations, friends or partners that will walk in the same path as you. For the rest, they will usually herd through what the social impact has on them and they will make that statistic higher each time.

What about you? Do you conceal your FI dream or does the people around you knows about it?

32 comments:

  1. I give bosses one year advance notice and a nice way to part. LOL!

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    1. No concealing my FI dream. In fact, I have presentation slides to share with any other colleagues or friends who like to know more on retirement planning: "Retirement Income for Life. Inspiring you to take charge"

      :-)

      Delete
    2. Hi Uncle CW

      A year is a bit too long indeed :D

      Wait later they don't even reserve you the bonus you deserve :)

      Delete
    3. This year bonus is a small give away as compared to two full years of salaries, bonus and medical benefits that have been given up :-)

      Delete
  2. Hi B,

    Whatever it is, it's a decision u made. It's what motivates and u have already come a long journey.

    To be honest, I like to think that most people except for urself n ur love ones, n those who loved u, will hardly share ur joy or ur pain.

    So whether it's transparent or conceal to others, I seriously think it does not matter, most importantly, u r true n responsible to urself n ur loved ones deep down.

    one advantage of being transparent is that of constantly remind urself. The more u talk/blog the more u r driven n motivated. never ever use it as a means to "show off" or satisfy ego as u r bound to fail n regret one day. This I think u r not!

    just my thoughts!

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    Replies
    1. Hi Rolf

      Many thanks for your affirmation and thoughts.

      It comes quite a long way now that I think about it and the journey outside of this group have been a rather lonely journey, especially since not many touch on the topic of money, less alone about having an early FI goal.

      I really hope it works out well in the end, especially towards how we face our family members and trying to explain the details to them, which can seem very alien to them.

      Delete
  3. Hello B, I'm a 21y.o recent lurker of your blog, mostly because I'm too lazy to type on mobile (army). Contrary to your experiences or your perceived scenario, I believe that many people would encourage you to achieve your dream since its both practical and justifiable through numbers. Personally, I've been very open about my FI goal and wanted to start much earlier but Stanchart requires minimum age of 21 (just fulfilled). Anyway, I've discussed my goals with peers and acquaintances, and the reactions I drew weren't so much of its crazy impossible, but due to the hassle of the lifestyle before FI, and concerns after achieving it. Some of them want to yolo through their 20s and lead a responsible life only in 30s, some of them believe in working an honest job, work-life balance, in stability and simplicity - both which I respect, and they respect my opinion too. The older generation (parents etc.) thinks I'm just finding an excuse to loaf off, but after telling them my rationale for being financially free - so I could pursue my own projects without worrying about my next meal/freely fund my hobbies, they sorta understand where I'm coming from, and I'm glad to have made this known from the start.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello there,

      Many thanks for leaving your comments there. Really appreciate each and every comment readers make :)

      It's incredible that at the age of 21 you have found your way to how you want to shape up your life with an FI goal in mind. I think it is a very reachable goal but with a rather difficult time convincing your families or loved ones until you reach it and they start to believe in these stories.

      I'd say go for it and prove them wrong. The road will be bumpy at times but you will find the strength and way out if you continue to persist :)

      Delete
  4. I tell my family and some close friends about it. Most people don't believe that FI is achievable at my age, the other group didn't think I could hang up everything base on my high energy level. Another group think that I can do it, but I have to live in poverty for the rest of my life. LOL :) For me, I'll just keep showing the pictures of my multiple vacations and all the exotic food that that I get to see and try. :)

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    1. Hi Vivianne

      For you, I think you have proven all critics of yours wrong obviously with the kind of progress you are making right now. I hope they get their stick deserved and start looking at it positively instead of envy and jealousy.

      Delete
  5. Hello B,

    Achieving FI is a noble goal, although skeptics are abound.

    I hardly share my dream of financial freedom with anyone, except with my wife. But I guess that's my nature. I tend to keep a low profile among my peers.

    True freedom, as I read is not counted by the number of zeros in your bank account. Rather, it is being able to do what you want, when you want with no constraint in time and money. Surely isn't that a stage that most people aspire to?

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    1. Hi SS

      Excellent thoughts at the end there.

      Something which I didn't highlight and you are right, the end goal is ultimately not about the money or how much dollar we have, but the amount of time that we are able to spend with our loved ones with no constraint to money at all. I think that's what true bliss is :)

      Delete
  6. I will keep my goal of early retirement a secret from office.

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    1. Hi Starlight

      That is definitely recommendable as they probably don't add anything value to what you believe is already yours at hand.

      Delete
  7. Hi B,

    I know how you feel. I face the same or similar reaction from my wife and close friends when I share with them my intention NOT to work till 65. Even though I explained to her in detail how we would have enough cash to last till the end and leave a legacy to our children, she isn't convinced that early retirement is the way to go.

    To my colleagues, I will not share with them too much on my plan. The only exception is my boss, who I feel that should be given advance notice to look for a replacement, and who I trust that he will keep it confidential.

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    1. Hi Sanye

      That's exactly what I was trying to put across. I think you have pretty much sums it all up based on your own experience :)

      Now that you have reached a respectable amount of dividends, I wonder how your wife and close friends react or differ in their thoughts the very first time you bring it up?

      Delete
  8. Hi B

    The FI dream is shared very freely. The FI goal is only shared with my wife since she is a shareholder.

    But we all put it at the back burner now

    A wonderful goal, regardless what others say. Because it is difficult, people could be sour about it, just like I was sour about it too. Lol

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    1. Hi SI

      The dream is probably what everyone thinks as a Cinderella story. The goal is more specific about what are the steps needed to reach to that dream. I guess since you are invested together with your wife, she needs to share the same goal in mind else a conflict might just arise which can be disastrous, especially during a bear market and equities are smacked down.

      Delete
  9. Hi, i am one of your frequent readers from overseas. I am a working expat from Europe in one of the neighboring countries, but rather trust the Singapore banking system more than where I currently live in.
    I have to agree that you only can write about your financial goals &status to anonymous people like fellow bloggers or readers. From my experience, if you would start to talk about all these details to close friends or family, another bigger issue will arise: ENVY and JEALOUSLY. Do not underestimate these two points which will eventually become a big headache for you and your immediate family. I can speak from experience and I am keeping all my investment process between me and my wife (no telling to anybody).

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    1. Hi Anonymous

      Thanks for your support :)

      In blogs, everyone can write whatever goals they want to achieve but hardly anyone are able to complete the story from what they want to achieve at start to how they achieve it at the end. So it becomes rather shallow to readers or friends outside who thinks that it is merely a goal with no end in sight.

      I am trying to put across that differently hopefully and sustaining for as long as I am able to continue writing and hopefully I will be able to report on how I am able to reach FI within the next 5 years if not sooner.

      Delete
  10. I agree with you and appreciate your stance to share your opinions and goals. This definitely helps those who are in similar boat and your kind gesture will obviously make others to also start discussing in open, thus bringing more insights and making decisions better for everyone in the process. Thanks.

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    1. Hi Anonymous

      You're very welcome and hope it helps you in making better thought process meanwhile.

      Delete
  11. I only share with my wife, and i hope i wont disappoint her, as she believes in me and has been v encouraging.

    As for frens, families and relatives, i will not disclose my intention for financial independence, as it will nt be realistic to their eyes imh, this is because i am just an average salary worker.

    For like-minded individuals, i do share this dream and ideas and what i do and what we can improve to achieve our FI.

    As for office, i definitely wont share LOL.

    Common reply i give ppl who asks how i fare, i will just say "tan-jiak tan-jiak", meaning just getting by :)

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    1. Hi Black

      You have such a cute dog there in your profile ;)

      Thanks for sharing your views on that.

      It appears that many would share the goal with the spouses but relatively distant to friends and other family members. I guess it's about moving into the right direction as a family and we definitely need the support of our spouses in order to make that happen.

      Delete
  12. Hi B,

    Realised it's been some time since I have left a comment! But don't worry, I have almost always been reading.

    Most of us stay anonymous on our blogs, and that says alot. I doubt many would want their acquaintances to know too much about their financial goals and targets.

    I am especially averse towards telling my co-workers in the past about the goals I had. Imagine if they told the bosses?!

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    1. Hi 15hww

      Given your anonymity on your blog, I would have second guessed that you only share your goals with your wife whom I believe has your supported you all the way until now.

      Co-workers can be tricky especially in your previous role which might bring about implications if they are not handled correctly.

      Delete
  13. Hi B,

    I just started my own blog this year after holding off my dream of owning my own blog and domain for many years. It is a good way to pen our thoughts on stock investing. Doing personal analysis on stocks ensure that I buy and sell not based on sentiments but on judgement.

    Let's work hard to our dreams of financial freedom!

    Best Regards
    My Sweet Retirement

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi My Sweet Retirement

      I've been following your progress along and I must say they have been brilliant so far.

      Let's keep the momentum going so that we can achieve the best we could.

      Delete
  14. Thank u very much for providing these news about Live Market. Keep Posting on your Blog..!!!
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    ReplyDelete
  15. Hi B

    This is the 2nd time I am reading and I couldn't leave a comment as I was on the go.

    Because of your willingness to share your dreams, you have made a lot of friendships with like minded people. I doubt you want a thousand friends who you can't talk to, than a dozen who you enjoy talking to.

    I am sure if we are focus enough and be consistent in what we believe/preach, spouse and relatives will slowly, slowly understand.

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    1. Hi FD

      Thanks for leaving your comment here :) Appreciate it.

      I'm glad that there are a couple of same minded alike people who are in the same boat. Even though the 99% of the population are not with you, I'm pleased to find friends that share the same sentiments as I am, like you.

      Let's keep it going, and a countdown to 2020 soon to come ;)

      Delete
  16. I live in usa and life is worth living comfortably for me and my family now and really have never seen goodness shown to me this much in my life as I am a mother who struggles with three children and I have been going through a problem as seriously as my husband found a terrible accident last two weeks, and the doctors states that he needs to undergo a delicate surgery for him to be able to walk again and I could not pay the bills, then your surgery went to the bank to borrow and reject me saying that I have no credit card, from there i run to my father and he was not able to help, then when I was browsing through yahoo answers and i came across a loan lender MR TONY HARTON, offering loans at affordable interest rate and i have been hearing about so many scams on the internet but at this my desperate situation, I had no choice but to give it an attempt and surprisingly it was all like a dream, I got a loan of $ 50,000 and I paid for my husband surgery and thank God today is good and you can walk and is working and the burden is longer so much on me more and we can feed well and my family is happy today and i said to myself that I will mourn aloud in the world of the wonders of God to me through this lender GOD fearing MR TONY HARTON and I would advise anyone in genuine and serious need of loan to contact this God-fearing man on financialhome34@outlook.com through .. and I want you all to pray for this man for me
    Thanks

    ReplyDelete

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